Casino Mid-week

Yesterday, I decided to venture to scenic Gary, IN for the second time in as many weeks to play a little $3/$6 hold 'em. I did this for a few of reasons:

1) I don't play live enough.
2) Because I don't play live enough, I'm a little worried about showing up at the WSOP and taking to long to make the proper adjustments to live play and putting a display of tells.
3) I need to get better at reading people. I need to at least be working on this occasionally.
4) Live poker is generally more fun than internet poker.

It was an interesting scene on Wednesday. On Saturdays, the whole poker room is pretty much packed and the display could most aptly be characterized as a total donkfest. There are a lot of drunk players, bad players, and just degenerate gamblers. Clearly, there are some more serious, regular players also who are there to collect the money from the aforementioned chip fountains. Saturday is a good day to be a good poker player at the casino. Wednesdays, there are understandably fewer of these players. There are a lot more players that know many of the other players, all of the dealers, etc. These are clearly regulars. Many of these players are actually good. Some of them are not, but the majority of them are at least solid players. Obviously, this makes it a little harder to win. Factor in tips, a few beverages, and it wouldn't be too hard to go home with less money than you arrived with. Of course, you have to drive there too, so there is that expense.

Anyway, back to the poker. On a Saturday, I'd say the solid player to fish ratio is 3/7 and on Wednesday it's 6/4. Still, 4 bad players is more than enough to feed the six good ones. This is especially true if the 4 are especially bad. I came out about +$50 last night against the stiffer competition. I was able to steer clear of the better players for the most part. However, when I got home I won $55 in 45 minutes on Party Poker. It's hard to justify driving to Indiana to play against regular live players in the middle of the week when I could just sit in my living room and play against fairly poor competition and not end up in traffic. I still think I need to play live though, so I'm going to rectify that, I'm not sure. Also, it's kind of an odd thing to drive to a casino in Gary by yourself in the middle of the week. It sort of makes me feel like a degenerate gambler, even though I don't characterize what I do as gambling exactly.

So should I keep making this trek or just stick to the virtual felt? That is the question. Right now, I'm thinking I make the voyage every couple of weeks and maybe always during the week. While the games are softer during the weekend, I'm probably going to be okay just playing on auto-pilot. If I fall into that, I'm not really doing anything to get better.

Milwaukee, Indiana, and Riding the Pepper

"You know what always makes me feel better? Rolled up aces over kings..."

Rounders contains all sorts of fantastic wisdom. The poker scenes are a little dicey in terms of how the hands are played, but still....

Anyway, I had a rock star weekend. My man Swartz got in on Thursday. I had the day off on Friday. The festivities kicked off on Friday afternoon with a trip to Portillo's in the 'burbs. Swartz lives in Phoenix and they have no Portillo's, so this was a must. Leheney met us at Portillo's and the party was off and running. The three of us rolled up to Potawatomi Bingo and Casino. A couple things became clear very quickly. First, Vince Van Patten is all over the signage for the place for no real reason. Second, there is an avalanche of bingo players in Milwaukee. Check out the picture of the room here. That's all bingo! Swartz was hassled by security for taking this picture so I hope you enjoy it. The electonic device nazis are out in full force in this casino for some reason.

We were at the tables for a few hours. All of us played $3/$6 limit. The table wasn't bad from a skill perspective. There were a few donkeys though, as usual. A couple of us did pretty well and we headed to dinner at one of our favorite MKE spots, La Perla.
My memories of this spot are too numerous to recount. "The Pearl" has a big chili pepper that is right in their front window. After a few margaritas and tequila shots, this was looking like a good plan for us. Don't you love cameras? La Perla has a webcam on this puppy too, which is just great. The first pepper pic here is Leheney, and the second is obviously me. Apparently if you are from Arizona, you are too much of a sissy to ride a chili pepper. Anyway after this, we headed back to the poker room. I didn't do as well after dinner, but I came out ahead for the night. This was more "social poker" than business so a win was solid.
After dropping Leheney off, Swartz and I rolled in around 5:30. The sun was already up.

Saturday night after watching all of the games, Mark and I were just about to grab a drink on Lincoln Avenue when the topic of the casino suddenly came up again. In 45 minutes, we were sitting at a $3/$6 hold 'em table in Indiana. The dealers and their routines there were rough. It was really slowing the game down. We actually had a trainee on her first day that didn't really know the game. It was brutal. Still, the table was a donkfest. I ended up winning about $45. Swartz switched to no limit and came back much richer. This was no surprise as he's a no limit monster. We wrapped it up around 3 am, rolled in around 4. We woke up on time to catch all of the games on Sunday. Good Times!

Let's Make a Movie

So, it wasn't a great year in the cinema as we know. Crash ended up winning Best Picture this year. As I've said before, that movie was simply "just okay". I'm not looking to discuss the decline in the art of making exceptional cinema. Does Hollywood make too many "safe choices" based on finance? They sure do. That is precisely what I want to talk about here. I want the safe choice to be a little more like something I can get behind. I can't figure out where we are going wrong. Where are my less than intellectual martial arts/boxing style movies these days? Where is my Karate Kid II? Where is the current generation of Bloodsport? I just don't get what happened to films like these. They are fairly low budget, follow a simple plot formula, and you can run them constantly on late night TBS for about a billion years. Trust me, a significant portion of the male population has seen Kickboxer at least 10 times.

I'm either missing these or they just aren't happening. To refresh the memory of Hollywood types (of course, they all read this blog) and to just lay out what I'm talking about, here's a laundry list of what you need to make one of these movies -

1. A Great Score - This is key to everything and sets the mood, builds up to key moments, and is as essential as any character. There is really one man for the job here. Bill Conti. If you don't know Bill, educate yourself. Watch any Karate Kid movie or Rocky IV.

2. You need a leading man. He can be a muscled up teddy bear of a guy with an inner giant lurking below the surface or an everyman with just enough charm and athletic skill to pull off some degree of believability as he's converted into (at least at times) an imposing physical presence. Ralph Macchio is always available people. He needs work. Just don't go trying to make Karate Kid IV on me and put Ralph in the Mr. Miyagi role or something. That will push me over the edge.

3. You need a teacher. These seem to work best if they are older men of Asian descent, but this need not always be the case. I'd like to see some innovation here, but why not stick with the tried and true formula for now? How about getting Bolo Yeung into this role? He's still alive somewhere, right?

4. The villain(s). This is key, you need great villains to make a great movie of this kind. There are two great ways to go here. The first way is to have a team of bad guys with a central bad guy or two, like the Cobra Kai. The second way is the solo, seemingly unbeatable, win at all costs, ultra bad guy. Chong Li played by our boy Bolo in Bloodsport is a great example of this. Asian guy with a mean streak is pretty conventional for this role but I also like the tremendous hulking mass of a man angle. Billy Zabka was quite the aberration with this. Trying to make another Johnny probably isn't our best bet.

5. The training montage. So you've got your villains. You've somehow pitted them against your hero. Maybe the date of the big match is known and maybe it isn't. These are variables. What isn't variable is the training montage. This is absolutely key. We need a 5 minute scene set to music where we see the hero train and take his skills to the next level. He will need to have encountered some difficulty in training with his teacher leading up to this of varying levels depending on the type of leading man. The training montage though is where he attains what he has set out to attain - ridiculous, probably non-sensical, fighting skills. From here on out, he is a totally new man.

6. The girl. There is almost always a girl. She usually gets involved pretty close to the training montage. The girl can range from total wet blanket who almost submarines the whole situation to possible one night stand (though it never turns out that way) that gives the guy that extra pep in his step for the big day. The best formula here in my mind is someone deceptively hot that shows concern for the hero while providing plenty of support without turning negative and undermining his confidence. Elisabeth Shue is just about perfect in Karate Kid. She's the role model here. Talia Shire in every Rocky movie = wet blanket. The Talia Shire approach is not my preference. Boo Talia Shire! Boo!

7. This is the final key to a successful film. The showdown. This is where it all comes together. By this time in the movie, the hero is defending his honor, fighting for his girl, avenging his master, or some subset of all of these. The hero is most likely beaten to the edge of defeat, prior to finding some sort of inspiration. He then goes on to trounce his opponent in superhero style, justice is served, and all is right with the world.

That's it, end of movie. Ninety minutes later and you are done. Cinema gold or at least cinema bronze.

What isn't to like about this? Can you make a solid movie of this type and make a profit? Heck yes you can. You should be able to do great with this formula. DVD sales alone should bail you out. Movies of this kind need to be about a C+ to make a profit. So I ask you, where have they all gone? I can't figure it out. In the 80's and early 90's, we were seeing a steady stream of these. Some were okay, some were terrible, and some starred Steven Seagal. I can do without Seagal, but give me a couple of these a year. Someone threw up the greenlight for another Fast and the Furious movie. We should be able to get a freakin' martial arts movie done.

Thoughts on Smiths Reunion and Ramifications

Quite a few people caught wind of this this past week. I had more than a couple people send me the article and chat with me about it. I thought I'd clarify my thoughts a little bit here.

1. I had a couple of people express their disbelief about The Smiths getting $5 million just to reunite for one show. There are people out there who just don't realize how crazy fans of The Smiths are about them. Go to a Morrissey show, and things will clarify. Is it worth $5 million just to get them to do one show? I don't know, I'm not a concert organizer. Let me just say that this show is selling out with the absolute quickness.

2. I'm glad they turned this down. I know that $5 million isn't necessarily a lot to the members of this band. It is still a lot of money though. It seems to me that the offer was made here, but never seriously considered which I think is perfect. It would be absolutely horrifying to see The Smiths make a comeback of any kind and put themselves into a category with The Rolling Stones, Motley Crue, and other aged rock groups looking to cash in on their past glory. That would sadden me. The Morrissey solo career is (I can't believe I'm saying this) running it's course as is. That is miserable enough on it's own for me.

3. Would I go to this show? You are damn right I would. I would be buying tickets the instant they are available or scalping. I'd do whatever it took. I wouldn't be too happy about it though, for the reasons outlined in #2. Still, I've clearly never seen The Smiths perform as a group outside of on my tv. I'd have to go. There is no doubt about it. I'm not missing my only chance for anything, even if I'm semi-hating that it's happening the entire time.

This story was good news. There are a lot of Smiths fans out there hoping for a reunion some day. I hope they remain disappointed. I'm happy with The Smiths for who and when they were. I need nothing additional. As for why The Smiths broke up in the first place and whether as Morrissey alleges, "Johnny just wanted to end it", I'll just leave that alone for today. One other great thing about this story though is Morrissey's comment on the state of things. "Politically the world is ridiculous". It would be hard to say it better in just five words.

Rex the Best?

Crazy day in the NFL Free Agency market today. Culpepper to the Dolphins. Kitna to the Lions. There is actually poll on ESPN right now asking you to vote on who the Lions opening day starter will be. The options are Kitna or Harrington. As someone who hates Michigan teams across the board, that is fantastic. Another thought on the Lions - Mike Martz is the offensive coordinator. Mike Martz with a bad heart is going to be coaching Kitna (or Harrington) and a bunch of underachieving, pot-smoking, and generally lackluster receivers. Will he survive the season? It's questionable.

Another crazy thing to think about, is the state of affairs in the NFC Central. With Culpepper gone, the QB position looks like this (assuming Favre retires):

Minnesota - A very senior Brad Johnson
Green Bay - Aaron Rodgers, a man with zero professions starts.
Detroit - Kitna or Harrington
Chicago - Our boy Rex.

Could Rex possibly the best QB our division has to offer? Is this really possible? I guess if Isaiah Thomas can pair Steve Francis and Stephon Marbury intentionally and believe it to be a good idea, anything is possible. The Bears with the best QB in the division - holy cow!

Birthday Surprises

I got some pretty cool birthday gifts this year. I must admit. I don't want to get into all of that. Let me just tell you that I'm probably the first and only person you know that owns The Republican Party: An Illustrated History of the GOP. Am I right? I think I am. I was going to list the best birthday presents I've ever received but I honestly don't remember too many. Here are a couple that I do that were solid for a variety of reasons:

1. A gallon of windshield wiper fluid.

2. A chia pet. This was last year I think. This was the original Chia Pet. It's awesome.

3. A poem. This actually was one of my all-time favorites. It was from a male friend of mine who I won't embarrass here. I like to write poems for people. I mean, if anyone read one of my poems that knew anything about poetry, they would probably think I am in the lower 5% of poets worldwide. Still, I like them. If there is another reason to write poetry of any kind, I don't know what it is. I should work on some new ones soon.

A few questions...

I'm just going to verbalize some things rolling around in my head....

1. How is it possible that I like the Smashing Pumpkins more now than when they were popular? Is this a sign of aging? False nostalgia for a bygone era?

2. How the heck does Canada beat the U.S. in baseball? I love Canada, but what is this all about?

3. If you drink 5-6 cans of Diet Coke daily, how bad is that for you? Does my liver look like a decaying hardened mass? Has Coke done studies on this? Should I call them?

4. If it was possible, could George W. Bush conceivably win a third term?

5. Are the Cubs really going to be good this year due to the "when we think they are going to suck, they are great but when they should be great, they suck" theory?

6. What if Chuck Norris actually did play Sensei Kreese (this almost happened)? Would I still love the Karate Kid this much?

7. Why do you get more busy as you get older? Shouldn't you slow things down a little to help your slower mind and body deal with less stress?

8. Are they going to bump off Tony Soprano at the end of The Sopranos? If so, will Christopher be prominently involved? They certainly seem to be foreshadowing in that direction. I like to think that if I was Italian, and I grew up a gangster, I'd be quite a bit like Christopher Moltisanti. I'd have to have a quick temper. I could leave the drug habit alone though.

9. Why can't we replace the friggin' internal combustion engine? I think there needs to be some sort of open source style effort to get this done. Maybe there already is? This is easy for me to say, as I'm not going to put any effort into it myself.

10. If it's true that Entourage is Sex and the City for guys, why do I think Entourage is so much better. Is it because I'm a guy, is it J. Piven, or is it really just that much better?

11. If you had to give up books or music for life, which would you choose? Why?

12. Is Lindsay Lohan the next Tara Reid?

13. Where is Christina Aguilera?

14. Better game console - Atari 2600 or the original NES?

15. Is One Tree Hill really better than Dawson's Creek, or did I just not adequately appreciate DC for what it was?

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday Margaret Hurst, the pride of Hiram, OH. Keep on rockin' Margaret.

Oscar Thoughts

I didn't have time or inclination to put together an Oscar Diary like I did last year. I just didn't make it to enough of the films this year. I saw enough to know enough to make some comments. Here's what I thought off the top of my head...

1. Mr. Stewart was okay, but what was wrong with Chris Rock? Can we just get Chris Rock back please? I prefer Jimmy Kimmel also. If we're going to change it up, let's make it more interesting. How about Larry David next year? I'm sure that won't happen. I'm sure they'll mess it up next year. Is it time to dust off Billy Crystal again yet? I'm hoping for a host that's likely to go on a completely inappropriate political rant if I can't have Larry David. That's my dream.

2. This is very important. How is Pat Morita the second person in the dead person montage? Clearly, the most important/influential person goes last in the montage. I can see the point with Richard Pryor at the end. Still, the Oscars are about movies. What was more influential in your life, Karate Kid or The Toy? Second in the montage? Give my man Pat his due people. That's just low down.

3. There is no way Crash was the best movie of the year. I prefer Cinderella Man to Crash by a long shot. No nomination for Cinderella Man in this field? You must be joking. I can't even believe that Munich was nominated. What a brutal year this was. I would characterize Munich as squarely "just okay". I know the Spielberg name is big, but come on people. Did you even watch this movie?

4. Bill Conti leading the orchestra always warms my heart. He did the score for the Karate Kid movies, you know? Bill Conti = Badass

5. What the hell happened to Roger Ebert? Also on this topic, Tom Hanks scares me now. What's up with Dolly Parton, too? Her plastic surgeon has a house in The Hills from her work alone. Freaky.

Stock Tips

In the morning, I'll be purchasing a stock that I have always wanted to own. I'll be purchasing one Berkshire Hathaway B Share. I couldn't really figure out what to do with the cheddar that Uncle Sam is giving me back. After some serious thought, it occurred to me that jumping on the Warren Buffett train at last is probably the best way to go. What could be better? Go with Warren.

Want another stock tip? Look at ConAgra Foods. They are undervalued.