Oscar Diary
Good evening ladies and gentleman and welcome to the 2005 Academy Awards….
Okay, so not exactly. However, the staff here at chrismilone.org will be covering the Oscars this year from behind the TV on the comfort of the couch. Having taken a vested interest in the Oscar outcomes this time around, and commenting repeatedly on the films, it seems the only appropriate thing to do. As such, we will follow the action in diary format. This format is often used by our beloved sportswriter Bill Simmons throughout many such shows and sports drafts, to much success. While this format is unoriginal, many of the films considered tonight are quite derivative also. Hence, we hope that you will forgive the lack of format originality.
Before we get the diary started, I wanted to give my impression of Ray which I saw on Friday night. This was just in time to be fully educated about all of the films nominated for Best Picture and all of those featuring a Best Actor nominee. I didn’t make it to all of the films with a Best Actress nominee, and for that I apologize. However, the Best Actress category is a little more triflin’ this year than in years past and I really had no interest in seeing Vera Drake. Maybe, we can catch it on the flip side.
So anyway, back to Ray. I thought that the movie was excellent. Though, it may have focused a tad too much on the heroin addiction aspects of the life of Ray Charles. Still, I thought it was an exceptional movie all around. I was highly entertained and I learned a lot about Ray that I didn’t know. I can see why it is a Best Picture nominee and also why Jamie Foxx is up for best actor. I thought that Jamie really nailed his mannerisms and really brought Ray to life. I wish there was a little more of my man Larenz Tate, who plays Quincy Jones though, to be honest.
The questions that I asked myself after the movie were simple. Should this movie and Jamie Foxx be nominated for Best Picture and Best Actor, respectively? I think it’s clear that the answer to both of these questions is yes. That being said, do I think that Ray should win Best Picture or do I think that Jamie Foxx should win Best Actor? I’m sorry to you Ray and Foxx fans out there that I have to say no. I’ll give you my reasons.
I think that Ray is a well-made movie and quite entertaining. It just doesn’t yell Best Picture to me though. It wasn’t entirely original in the way it was shot. It is a wonderful biography of a man many of us know and love, but so were Ali, Malcolm X, and many other fine films. I would put Ray in that category. It’s a fine film, but not the best film of the year. My first choice is still Sideways, which I know will not win, as it is mostly a comedy. My second choice is The Aviator, which has a real shot at winning. If Million Dollar Baby wins, which is extremely possible if you believe the buzz, I will lose a great deal of respect for the Academy. Let me just throw that out there in advance. I loved Finding Neverland too, which is clearly getting dissed. So anyway, here’s how I personally would rank the five nominated films, heading into Oscar Night –
1. Sideways
2. Finding Neverland
3. The Aviator
4. Ray
5. Million Dollar Baby
Now, getting back to Best Actor. I loved the performance that Jamie Foxx gave as Ray Charles. I think he really showed how he lived his life. He was great. Still, the man had to lip sync the whole movie through all of the musical pieces. I was impressed with his ability to almost make me believe he was singing, but I could still see that he wasn’t. I also felt like Leo really nailed his performance and no one has topped that one yet, at least for me. I saw that movie early in this process of evaluating the nominees and his performance still wins out. Plus, I’m sort of pulling for the guy. He even topped his Basketball Diaries performance, which was tough to do. Here’s my final ranking of the Best Actor nominees –
1. Leonardo DiCaprio
2. Jamie Foxx
3. Don Cheadle
4. Johnny Depp
5. Clint Eastwood
None of my other opinions have really changed with seeing Ray, so I’ll just leave the rest of the categories alone leading into the show and comment on the awards as they happen. I'll also be including some comments from Sandy, though I'm not allowing her input, nor visibility into what I'm writing as I'm writing it. With that said, let’s get into the diary:
6:35 p.m. – Started early, we’re catching the red carpet. Drew Barrymore just said, “you don’t do anything in this world alone.” Really? I try to go to the bathroom alone Drew. What abut you?
6:37 p.m. – I’m wondering how Joan Rivers is still responsible for this red carpet crap. Virginia Madsen brought her mom. That’s cute. How does Virginia Madsen not have a date? I think she just had plastic surgery too, but maybe that’s me. She looks 15 years younger than she did in Sideways. Freaky.
6:39 p.m. – Melissa Rivers again too? You know, I’m really anxious for Star Jones to have a daughter so that we can deal with that combo. That’s even a bigger nightmare than enduring this Rivers stuff every year. Do they do anything else? I hope they do this job for free. What are the odds that Star will name her daughter Moon Jones and will say stuff, like “now over to my daughter Moon?”
6:40 p.m. – Ethan Hawke looks above average for him. Way to go Ethan!
6:42 p.m. – Sandy just called Hillary Swank a “hot piece of ass.” I’m not too sure how to take that.
6:49 p.m. – Flipping over to World Poker Tour. The guy that plays Al on Home Improvement is playing some pseudo-celebrity named Lolita. This is riveting.
6:51 p.m. – Cate Blanchett looks truly regal in her yellow dress. What an actress. I’m now hoping she wins Best Supporting. I think she was great in The Aviator. I’m still pulling for Nathalie Portman, but that’s really just because I think she’s awesome. I haven’t even seen Closer though. It’s probably only right that I pull for Cate.
7:01 p.m. – Here we go with “Oscar Countdown”. Hillary Swank does look good. I think she should have brought Mr. Miyagi as her date. That would make this a lot more interesting.
7:05 p.m. – They’re showing all of the “best” Oscar speeches. They chose three. Apparently, this includes Halle Berry’s speech but inexplicably does not include Cuba Gooding Jr.’s speech from his Jerry Maguire win. That’s the best speech in Oscar history in my mind. No one has ever been more excited to win. Isn’t that what it’s all about?
7:09 p.m. – They’re showing the Best Actress nominees again. Is there some way that Hilary Swank does not win this thing?
7:11 p.m. – Kyan Douglas from Queer Eye is doing commercials for L’Oreal hair coloring products for women? He’s gay, I know, but how does that qualify him to be a spokesperson for women’s hair products? I understand that he is a “male grooming expert” but did he get certified recently to do women’s hair products too? This has me intrigued. Am I going to see women doing commercials for Edge Shave Gel soon?
7:15 p.m – Kirsen Dunst brought her brother. This is the trend apparently...bring a family member. I wonder if your family would get pissed if you actually brought a date? I notice though that everyone brings a family member of the opposite sex. Couldn’t I like bring my brother or something, or is that just taboo? I mean, you aren’t making out with your sibling anyway, right? Yet, this doesn’t seem to be happening.
7:20 p.m. – One great point that I hadn’t thought of was just brought out. Clint Eastwood was the only Best Actor nominee that didn’t play a real person. It’s unprecedented that I just found this pre-Oscar show valuable in some way.
7:29 p.m. – Wow! A commercial for the Wynn Las Vegas. It opens April 28th! It’s the only one Steve has “ever signed his name to.” I can’t wait. May is looking like a great time for a Vegas voyage. My money is on the Wynn being more than legit.
7:30 p.m. – Let’s light this candle.
7:34 p.m. – Chris Rock is the best comedian of his generation by far. They couldn’t do better than this for a host. First words out of his mouth “sit your asses down.”
7:37 p.m. – Chris Rock just said Tobey Maguire isn’t a star but rather “just a boy in tights”. I couldn’t agree more. Tobey does play poker though, so he has something going for him outside of being destined to make 5 or 6 Spiderman movies while his career starts to decline. Have you seen Tobey at the poker table? He looks like a star ready for a heroin addiction.
7:43 p.m. – Great monologue from Chris Rock, there’s no doubt about it. Is anyone at the academy sitting there right now pondering, “hmmmm……maybe we should bring Whoopi back next year…” The scary thing is, it’s probably going on. Why is that? Why can’t they just find someone good and stick with them? Is that crazy? I love Chris Rock. Let’s have Chris Rock every year, for the love of God.
7:47 p.m. – I don’t think Renee Zellweger has eaten since Bridget Jones 2 flopped. She’s like 21 lbs.
7:48 p.m. – Here we go with Best Supporting Actor. I can’t wait for this one! Sandy is cheering for Jamie Foxx for Collateral. She forgot Morgan though. I think she’s coming around for Morgan. Clive Owen has the look of “that was nice, but no way I’m winning” when they showed his clip.
Morgan Freeman wins his first! I’m completely for this. He deserves it for this role. He was the best part of Million Dollar Baby. I’m happy for the man. He’ll always be Red from Shawshank Redemption to me though and that definitely deserves an Oscar unto itself. He also always pretty much plays himself in everything. When playing you is that good though, you get Oscars. That's just how it works. Thomas Haden Church (my choice) – thanks for playing bro. Back to the scrap heap for you dog. I’m sure that Wings reunion is coming soon. Wait by the phone.
7:56 p.m. – It’s time for the Best Animated Feature. This better go to The Incredibles or there is no justice in the world.
Well, they didn’t screw this up. So far everyone is sticking to the get up there, talk quick, and sit down mandate. Apparently, the threats are working.
8:00 p.m. – Here we go with makeup. Do people really take this seriously? My theory is that the voters give these awards to stuff they like that they are screwing in the other categories. At least, that’s probably what I would do. Apparently, the makeup people don’t go up on stage. They just toss a microphone in the crowd for these guys. I like that. It says “hey, good job” but no one really cares.
8:02 p.m. – Drew Barrymore should always be blonde. Right now, she very much isn’t.
8:04 p.m. – Beyonce looks great. When did she turn French? Does Jay-Z know about this? Is he going to start rapping in French too? That might be the money. Then again, probably not.
8:13 p.m. – Scarlet J. is doing the sci/tech awards announcement from the balcony. They announce these awards in a completely different ceremony. Is there symbolism with Scarlet J. being in the balcony. Yes. Again, it’s “hey, we need to get through this but let’s not sully the main stage with this crap.”
8:18 p.m. – The Aviator just won for Costume Design. Could this be consolation for shafting them for Best Picture or is this a Titanicesque route? I really hope it's not the shaft.
8:20 p.m. – It’s time for Best Supporting Actress already. I love it. This might not take all night after all. Now I’m hoping Virginia Madsen wins. She really played that role well in Sideways. Cate Blanchett would be fine too though and of course Nathalie is money.
Yep, it’s Cate. Well, she wore a great dress tonight to accept an award in. She doesn’t even seem surprised, even though she said she was. I think she’s the least surprised person so far tonight. She’s probably thinking “I’m Cate Blanchett beeyotch, of course I won. What else did you expect?”
8:28 p.m. – The tribute to Carson was fantastic, and what do you know….there’s Whoopi! I told you someone was thinking about bringing her back. They’re doing it again right now! Stop it. Stop this madness!
8:30 p.m. – Leo is announcing Best Documentary. They put all of the nominees on the big stage with Leo. This signals that documentaries are definitely coming up in the world. Damn, Super Size Me didn’t win. I guess I’ll be forced to go see Born into Brothels now so I can make the proper comparisons.
8:32 p.m. – Here we go with Film Editing. Anyone want to bet that The Aviator wins this? I’ve got $100 that says Aviator. There it is. It’s The Aviator. Are you shocked? I'm smelling the shaft coming for this movie. I'm not feeling those Titanic feelings at all.
8:35 p.m. – For some reason Counting Crows is brought out to sing “Accidentally in Love”. Adam Duritz appears to have stolen Sideshow Bob’s haircut from The Simpsons once and for all. He’s not even pretending anymore. These guys look like a band that doesn’t do any drugs, but probably should.
8:41 p.m. – I’m starting to believe that they are hiding Chris Rock. I think it’s been an hour since I saw him. Oh wait, there he is with Adam Sandler. Finally. We’re still squandering Rock and all that he could be bringing to the table.
8:43 p.m. – Time for Best Adapted Screenplay. I’m really hoping that this is Finding Neverland. That movie has to win something. Ooohhhhh maybe Sideways will get it. The Aviator isn’t in this category.
Sideways! At least the night didn’t expire with Sideways getting entirely robbed. There is some justice in this world. There’s Sandra Oh! I have to cheer for her. Sandy Oh, Sandra Oh, you know…enough said.
8:46 p.m. – Zhang Ziyi speaks English now. When she made Crouching Tiger, she didn’t. This is a good thing, more Zhang Ziyi is definitely alright by me.
9:05 p.m. – Beyonce is back now with Andrew Lloyd Weber. Apparently, wearing a chandelier around your neck is some sort of fashion statement. Sandy just called it a chandelier too on her own while commenting that her eye makeup makes her look like a raccoon. I’m having a hard time disagreeing. Do you think that Jay-Z ever gets tired of going to awards shows and watching his boo perform? Do you think this has something to do with him coming out of retirement? My money is on yes.
9:08 p.m. – Bill Conti! He wrote the score for the Karate Kid movies and just about everything else. We need more Bill Conti. Hell, we need the Cobra Kai. Do you think that one day the Academy will honor the Cobra Kai? I think this has to happen.
9:11 p.m. – There’s the Live Action Short winner accepting in the aisle. I’m really digging this Oscar caste system.
9:15 p.m. – It’s the Cinematography award on the big stage! Could it be for The Aviator? Oh gosh, it is. Could this be more predictable? Kate Winslet is still hot, I don’t care what anyone says.
9:28 p.m. – Zorro is singing the song from The Motorcycle Diaries. I think he’s kind of butchering it. Wouldn’t this have been a great time for a Ricky Martin sighting. I kind of miss Ricky Martin. He just had that scary hair that was so glued in place that it made me uncomfortable.
Direct quote from Sandy on Antonio Banderas’ song stylings, “this sucks ass. I don’t need to be listening to this.”
9:34 p.m – John Stamos has his own sitcom with the guy that played Javier in Felicity now? Did someone actually green light this? Is Bob Saget getting a sitcom too? What is this world coming to? At least the Javier guy (whatever his real name is) is in it, that guy made Felicity for me.
9:43 p.m. – From Sandy, “I’m getting bored”. I can’t help but second that. I’m looking to pass out…
9:49 p.m. – It’s the dead person montage. We’re getting close. Number of people that I recognize in the montage: 8. I still can’t believe that Marlon Brando is gone. He’s definitely in my top 5 of all time. I think my Top 5 male actors is Pacino, DeNiro, Brando, Morita, and Macchio. The funny thing about that statement is that some of you think I’m joking.
9:56 p.m. – P.Diddy just called The Polar Express “hip”. He delivered this with the stiffness. Sandy and I both couldn’t contain our laughter. Hey, it’s Beyonce again. What do you know? Apparently, everyone else was busy tonight.
10:00 p.m. – Prince couldn’t look more like a shemale. He’s scaring me.
10:03 p.m. – It’s finally time for Best Actress. Here comes the Hilary Swank show. I’m pulling for Annette on some level, but I haven’t seen her movie, so I guess I’m not too much. That chick from Maria Full of Grace was rock solid though. I wouldn’t mind seeing her with the upset, though I really, really, really doubt it. Like I said though, it’s time for Hilary. When you are trained by Miyagi though, what do you expect.
There it is Hilary. You earned it. Great speech this time around too! I can’t believe she left out Pat Morita though.
10:17 p.m. – I’m shocked that The Aviator didn’t win Best screenplay. Some really short guy that wrote Eternal Sunshine won it. He was cool. He should have talked longer.
10:23 p.m. – Jamie Foxx wins Best Actor. Sandy is now convinced that he deserved it. We’re both happy for Jamie. I’m sad for Leo though. I don’t think it’s likely that he tops his role in The Aviator. I’m sure he’ll get one though one day if maybe not for his best role, kind of like Denzel. Jamie did have a wonderful year this year. His speech was absolutely dynamite, especially when he talked about Oprah, Halle and Sidney Poitier. His whole talk about his grandmother had tears in our eyes over here, as well as his. He’s a long way from that tired sitcom of his that went on for way too long and can still be seen in late night reruns.
10:32 p.m. – We’re really cooking now, wrapping up the show. Best Director time. It’s gotta be Scorsese. He’s not getting any younger. Whoops, it’s Clint Eastwood getting his second Best Director Oscar. He has even less time than Martin to make more, I guess. Still, this one bums me out. To put it simply, The Aviator was just better. They just showed Eastwood’s mom, now that was a twist. Now, I’m more pissed off. Clint probably has another 20 years. This better not mean that Million Dollar Baby is getting Best Picture. If it does, I’m tossing my cookies.
10:36 p.m. – The big three are all wrapping up in the final 13 minutes of the show. At this point, I really just want it to end. I’m tired. I’m grumpy. I know Sideways isn’t going to win, and that's making me a little bit more and more unhappy as this progresses.
It’s Million Dollar Baby. Unreal. I just threw up in my mouth. You have to be kidding me. This movie borrows from the Rocky V plot for Christ's sake. How can this be? Nightmare of nightmares.
Some quick closing comments to the Academy....
1. Million Dollar Baby still sucks.
2. We need more Chris Rock next year. Don't even think about Whoopi.
3. Keep the caste system, but make it even more extreme.
4. There are other women that can sing besides Beyonce. Let's give Whitney Houston a shot.
5. At least you got The Incredibles right.
Okay, so not exactly. However, the staff here at chrismilone.org will be covering the Oscars this year from behind the TV on the comfort of the couch. Having taken a vested interest in the Oscar outcomes this time around, and commenting repeatedly on the films, it seems the only appropriate thing to do. As such, we will follow the action in diary format. This format is often used by our beloved sportswriter Bill Simmons throughout many such shows and sports drafts, to much success. While this format is unoriginal, many of the films considered tonight are quite derivative also. Hence, we hope that you will forgive the lack of format originality.
Before we get the diary started, I wanted to give my impression of Ray which I saw on Friday night. This was just in time to be fully educated about all of the films nominated for Best Picture and all of those featuring a Best Actor nominee. I didn’t make it to all of the films with a Best Actress nominee, and for that I apologize. However, the Best Actress category is a little more triflin’ this year than in years past and I really had no interest in seeing Vera Drake. Maybe, we can catch it on the flip side.
So anyway, back to Ray. I thought that the movie was excellent. Though, it may have focused a tad too much on the heroin addiction aspects of the life of Ray Charles. Still, I thought it was an exceptional movie all around. I was highly entertained and I learned a lot about Ray that I didn’t know. I can see why it is a Best Picture nominee and also why Jamie Foxx is up for best actor. I thought that Jamie really nailed his mannerisms and really brought Ray to life. I wish there was a little more of my man Larenz Tate, who plays Quincy Jones though, to be honest.
The questions that I asked myself after the movie were simple. Should this movie and Jamie Foxx be nominated for Best Picture and Best Actor, respectively? I think it’s clear that the answer to both of these questions is yes. That being said, do I think that Ray should win Best Picture or do I think that Jamie Foxx should win Best Actor? I’m sorry to you Ray and Foxx fans out there that I have to say no. I’ll give you my reasons.
I think that Ray is a well-made movie and quite entertaining. It just doesn’t yell Best Picture to me though. It wasn’t entirely original in the way it was shot. It is a wonderful biography of a man many of us know and love, but so were Ali, Malcolm X, and many other fine films. I would put Ray in that category. It’s a fine film, but not the best film of the year. My first choice is still Sideways, which I know will not win, as it is mostly a comedy. My second choice is The Aviator, which has a real shot at winning. If Million Dollar Baby wins, which is extremely possible if you believe the buzz, I will lose a great deal of respect for the Academy. Let me just throw that out there in advance. I loved Finding Neverland too, which is clearly getting dissed. So anyway, here’s how I personally would rank the five nominated films, heading into Oscar Night –
1. Sideways
2. Finding Neverland
3. The Aviator
4. Ray
5. Million Dollar Baby
Now, getting back to Best Actor. I loved the performance that Jamie Foxx gave as Ray Charles. I think he really showed how he lived his life. He was great. Still, the man had to lip sync the whole movie through all of the musical pieces. I was impressed with his ability to almost make me believe he was singing, but I could still see that he wasn’t. I also felt like Leo really nailed his performance and no one has topped that one yet, at least for me. I saw that movie early in this process of evaluating the nominees and his performance still wins out. Plus, I’m sort of pulling for the guy. He even topped his Basketball Diaries performance, which was tough to do. Here’s my final ranking of the Best Actor nominees –
1. Leonardo DiCaprio
2. Jamie Foxx
3. Don Cheadle
4. Johnny Depp
5. Clint Eastwood
None of my other opinions have really changed with seeing Ray, so I’ll just leave the rest of the categories alone leading into the show and comment on the awards as they happen. I'll also be including some comments from Sandy, though I'm not allowing her input, nor visibility into what I'm writing as I'm writing it. With that said, let’s get into the diary:
6:35 p.m. – Started early, we’re catching the red carpet. Drew Barrymore just said, “you don’t do anything in this world alone.” Really? I try to go to the bathroom alone Drew. What abut you?
6:37 p.m. – I’m wondering how Joan Rivers is still responsible for this red carpet crap. Virginia Madsen brought her mom. That’s cute. How does Virginia Madsen not have a date? I think she just had plastic surgery too, but maybe that’s me. She looks 15 years younger than she did in Sideways. Freaky.
6:39 p.m. – Melissa Rivers again too? You know, I’m really anxious for Star Jones to have a daughter so that we can deal with that combo. That’s even a bigger nightmare than enduring this Rivers stuff every year. Do they do anything else? I hope they do this job for free. What are the odds that Star will name her daughter Moon Jones and will say stuff, like “now over to my daughter Moon?”
6:40 p.m. – Ethan Hawke looks above average for him. Way to go Ethan!
6:42 p.m. – Sandy just called Hillary Swank a “hot piece of ass.” I’m not too sure how to take that.
6:49 p.m. – Flipping over to World Poker Tour. The guy that plays Al on Home Improvement is playing some pseudo-celebrity named Lolita. This is riveting.
6:51 p.m. – Cate Blanchett looks truly regal in her yellow dress. What an actress. I’m now hoping she wins Best Supporting. I think she was great in The Aviator. I’m still pulling for Nathalie Portman, but that’s really just because I think she’s awesome. I haven’t even seen Closer though. It’s probably only right that I pull for Cate.
7:01 p.m. – Here we go with “Oscar Countdown”. Hillary Swank does look good. I think she should have brought Mr. Miyagi as her date. That would make this a lot more interesting.
7:05 p.m. – They’re showing all of the “best” Oscar speeches. They chose three. Apparently, this includes Halle Berry’s speech but inexplicably does not include Cuba Gooding Jr.’s speech from his Jerry Maguire win. That’s the best speech in Oscar history in my mind. No one has ever been more excited to win. Isn’t that what it’s all about?
7:09 p.m. – They’re showing the Best Actress nominees again. Is there some way that Hilary Swank does not win this thing?
7:11 p.m. – Kyan Douglas from Queer Eye is doing commercials for L’Oreal hair coloring products for women? He’s gay, I know, but how does that qualify him to be a spokesperson for women’s hair products? I understand that he is a “male grooming expert” but did he get certified recently to do women’s hair products too? This has me intrigued. Am I going to see women doing commercials for Edge Shave Gel soon?
7:15 p.m – Kirsen Dunst brought her brother. This is the trend apparently...bring a family member. I wonder if your family would get pissed if you actually brought a date? I notice though that everyone brings a family member of the opposite sex. Couldn’t I like bring my brother or something, or is that just taboo? I mean, you aren’t making out with your sibling anyway, right? Yet, this doesn’t seem to be happening.
7:20 p.m. – One great point that I hadn’t thought of was just brought out. Clint Eastwood was the only Best Actor nominee that didn’t play a real person. It’s unprecedented that I just found this pre-Oscar show valuable in some way.
7:29 p.m. – Wow! A commercial for the Wynn Las Vegas. It opens April 28th! It’s the only one Steve has “ever signed his name to.” I can’t wait. May is looking like a great time for a Vegas voyage. My money is on the Wynn being more than legit.
7:30 p.m. – Let’s light this candle.
7:34 p.m. – Chris Rock is the best comedian of his generation by far. They couldn’t do better than this for a host. First words out of his mouth “sit your asses down.”
7:37 p.m. – Chris Rock just said Tobey Maguire isn’t a star but rather “just a boy in tights”. I couldn’t agree more. Tobey does play poker though, so he has something going for him outside of being destined to make 5 or 6 Spiderman movies while his career starts to decline. Have you seen Tobey at the poker table? He looks like a star ready for a heroin addiction.
7:43 p.m. – Great monologue from Chris Rock, there’s no doubt about it. Is anyone at the academy sitting there right now pondering, “hmmmm……maybe we should bring Whoopi back next year…” The scary thing is, it’s probably going on. Why is that? Why can’t they just find someone good and stick with them? Is that crazy? I love Chris Rock. Let’s have Chris Rock every year, for the love of God.
7:47 p.m. – I don’t think Renee Zellweger has eaten since Bridget Jones 2 flopped. She’s like 21 lbs.
7:48 p.m. – Here we go with Best Supporting Actor. I can’t wait for this one! Sandy is cheering for Jamie Foxx for Collateral. She forgot Morgan though. I think she’s coming around for Morgan. Clive Owen has the look of “that was nice, but no way I’m winning” when they showed his clip.
Morgan Freeman wins his first! I’m completely for this. He deserves it for this role. He was the best part of Million Dollar Baby. I’m happy for the man. He’ll always be Red from Shawshank Redemption to me though and that definitely deserves an Oscar unto itself. He also always pretty much plays himself in everything. When playing you is that good though, you get Oscars. That's just how it works. Thomas Haden Church (my choice) – thanks for playing bro. Back to the scrap heap for you dog. I’m sure that Wings reunion is coming soon. Wait by the phone.
7:56 p.m. – It’s time for the Best Animated Feature. This better go to The Incredibles or there is no justice in the world.
Well, they didn’t screw this up. So far everyone is sticking to the get up there, talk quick, and sit down mandate. Apparently, the threats are working.
8:00 p.m. – Here we go with makeup. Do people really take this seriously? My theory is that the voters give these awards to stuff they like that they are screwing in the other categories. At least, that’s probably what I would do. Apparently, the makeup people don’t go up on stage. They just toss a microphone in the crowd for these guys. I like that. It says “hey, good job” but no one really cares.
8:02 p.m. – Drew Barrymore should always be blonde. Right now, she very much isn’t.
8:04 p.m. – Beyonce looks great. When did she turn French? Does Jay-Z know about this? Is he going to start rapping in French too? That might be the money. Then again, probably not.
8:13 p.m. – Scarlet J. is doing the sci/tech awards announcement from the balcony. They announce these awards in a completely different ceremony. Is there symbolism with Scarlet J. being in the balcony. Yes. Again, it’s “hey, we need to get through this but let’s not sully the main stage with this crap.”
8:18 p.m. – The Aviator just won for Costume Design. Could this be consolation for shafting them for Best Picture or is this a Titanicesque route? I really hope it's not the shaft.
8:20 p.m. – It’s time for Best Supporting Actress already. I love it. This might not take all night after all. Now I’m hoping Virginia Madsen wins. She really played that role well in Sideways. Cate Blanchett would be fine too though and of course Nathalie is money.
Yep, it’s Cate. Well, she wore a great dress tonight to accept an award in. She doesn’t even seem surprised, even though she said she was. I think she’s the least surprised person so far tonight. She’s probably thinking “I’m Cate Blanchett beeyotch, of course I won. What else did you expect?”
8:28 p.m. – The tribute to Carson was fantastic, and what do you know….there’s Whoopi! I told you someone was thinking about bringing her back. They’re doing it again right now! Stop it. Stop this madness!
8:30 p.m. – Leo is announcing Best Documentary. They put all of the nominees on the big stage with Leo. This signals that documentaries are definitely coming up in the world. Damn, Super Size Me didn’t win. I guess I’ll be forced to go see Born into Brothels now so I can make the proper comparisons.
8:32 p.m. – Here we go with Film Editing. Anyone want to bet that The Aviator wins this? I’ve got $100 that says Aviator. There it is. It’s The Aviator. Are you shocked? I'm smelling the shaft coming for this movie. I'm not feeling those Titanic feelings at all.
8:35 p.m. – For some reason Counting Crows is brought out to sing “Accidentally in Love”. Adam Duritz appears to have stolen Sideshow Bob’s haircut from The Simpsons once and for all. He’s not even pretending anymore. These guys look like a band that doesn’t do any drugs, but probably should.
8:41 p.m. – I’m starting to believe that they are hiding Chris Rock. I think it’s been an hour since I saw him. Oh wait, there he is with Adam Sandler. Finally. We’re still squandering Rock and all that he could be bringing to the table.
8:43 p.m. – Time for Best Adapted Screenplay. I’m really hoping that this is Finding Neverland. That movie has to win something. Ooohhhhh maybe Sideways will get it. The Aviator isn’t in this category.
Sideways! At least the night didn’t expire with Sideways getting entirely robbed. There is some justice in this world. There’s Sandra Oh! I have to cheer for her. Sandy Oh, Sandra Oh, you know…enough said.
8:46 p.m. – Zhang Ziyi speaks English now. When she made Crouching Tiger, she didn’t. This is a good thing, more Zhang Ziyi is definitely alright by me.
9:05 p.m. – Beyonce is back now with Andrew Lloyd Weber. Apparently, wearing a chandelier around your neck is some sort of fashion statement. Sandy just called it a chandelier too on her own while commenting that her eye makeup makes her look like a raccoon. I’m having a hard time disagreeing. Do you think that Jay-Z ever gets tired of going to awards shows and watching his boo perform? Do you think this has something to do with him coming out of retirement? My money is on yes.
9:08 p.m. – Bill Conti! He wrote the score for the Karate Kid movies and just about everything else. We need more Bill Conti. Hell, we need the Cobra Kai. Do you think that one day the Academy will honor the Cobra Kai? I think this has to happen.
9:11 p.m. – There’s the Live Action Short winner accepting in the aisle. I’m really digging this Oscar caste system.
9:15 p.m. – It’s the Cinematography award on the big stage! Could it be for The Aviator? Oh gosh, it is. Could this be more predictable? Kate Winslet is still hot, I don’t care what anyone says.
9:28 p.m. – Zorro is singing the song from The Motorcycle Diaries. I think he’s kind of butchering it. Wouldn’t this have been a great time for a Ricky Martin sighting. I kind of miss Ricky Martin. He just had that scary hair that was so glued in place that it made me uncomfortable.
Direct quote from Sandy on Antonio Banderas’ song stylings, “this sucks ass. I don’t need to be listening to this.”
9:34 p.m – John Stamos has his own sitcom with the guy that played Javier in Felicity now? Did someone actually green light this? Is Bob Saget getting a sitcom too? What is this world coming to? At least the Javier guy (whatever his real name is) is in it, that guy made Felicity for me.
9:43 p.m. – From Sandy, “I’m getting bored”. I can’t help but second that. I’m looking to pass out…
9:49 p.m. – It’s the dead person montage. We’re getting close. Number of people that I recognize in the montage: 8. I still can’t believe that Marlon Brando is gone. He’s definitely in my top 5 of all time. I think my Top 5 male actors is Pacino, DeNiro, Brando, Morita, and Macchio. The funny thing about that statement is that some of you think I’m joking.
9:56 p.m. – P.Diddy just called The Polar Express “hip”. He delivered this with the stiffness. Sandy and I both couldn’t contain our laughter. Hey, it’s Beyonce again. What do you know? Apparently, everyone else was busy tonight.
10:00 p.m. – Prince couldn’t look more like a shemale. He’s scaring me.
10:03 p.m. – It’s finally time for Best Actress. Here comes the Hilary Swank show. I’m pulling for Annette on some level, but I haven’t seen her movie, so I guess I’m not too much. That chick from Maria Full of Grace was rock solid though. I wouldn’t mind seeing her with the upset, though I really, really, really doubt it. Like I said though, it’s time for Hilary. When you are trained by Miyagi though, what do you expect.
There it is Hilary. You earned it. Great speech this time around too! I can’t believe she left out Pat Morita though.
10:17 p.m. – I’m shocked that The Aviator didn’t win Best screenplay. Some really short guy that wrote Eternal Sunshine won it. He was cool. He should have talked longer.
10:23 p.m. – Jamie Foxx wins Best Actor. Sandy is now convinced that he deserved it. We’re both happy for Jamie. I’m sad for Leo though. I don’t think it’s likely that he tops his role in The Aviator. I’m sure he’ll get one though one day if maybe not for his best role, kind of like Denzel. Jamie did have a wonderful year this year. His speech was absolutely dynamite, especially when he talked about Oprah, Halle and Sidney Poitier. His whole talk about his grandmother had tears in our eyes over here, as well as his. He’s a long way from that tired sitcom of his that went on for way too long and can still be seen in late night reruns.
10:32 p.m. – We’re really cooking now, wrapping up the show. Best Director time. It’s gotta be Scorsese. He’s not getting any younger. Whoops, it’s Clint Eastwood getting his second Best Director Oscar. He has even less time than Martin to make more, I guess. Still, this one bums me out. To put it simply, The Aviator was just better. They just showed Eastwood’s mom, now that was a twist. Now, I’m more pissed off. Clint probably has another 20 years. This better not mean that Million Dollar Baby is getting Best Picture. If it does, I’m tossing my cookies.
10:36 p.m. – The big three are all wrapping up in the final 13 minutes of the show. At this point, I really just want it to end. I’m tired. I’m grumpy. I know Sideways isn’t going to win, and that's making me a little bit more and more unhappy as this progresses.
It’s Million Dollar Baby. Unreal. I just threw up in my mouth. You have to be kidding me. This movie borrows from the Rocky V plot for Christ's sake. How can this be? Nightmare of nightmares.
Some quick closing comments to the Academy....
1. Million Dollar Baby still sucks.
2. We need more Chris Rock next year. Don't even think about Whoopi.
3. Keep the caste system, but make it even more extreme.
4. There are other women that can sing besides Beyonce. Let's give Whitney Houston a shot.
5. At least you got The Incredibles right.
posted by chrismilone @ 8:35 AM
0 comments
Louise's has this unreal bread that you dip in a wonderful oil and balsamic mixture. It's worth going just for the bread. I had veggie lasagna though, which was also very good. Sandy went with the spaghetti and meatballs which was also kind of yummy in a conventional, comfort food sort of way. 
We were both impressed. The snow was really coming down though. It was one of those perfect snows for snowball fights, when the snow packs very easily. 
We could all learn more than a little about what it means to be a professional from Ryne Sandberg. He's the anti-Sosa. Especially now, we should love him all the more for that. 
Don't get me wrong. I thought this was a good movie. It was definitely above average. Morgan Freeman was great, playing the role that he plays in every movie he's in. Clint Eastwood was solid. Hilary Swank had a truly standout performance. She was quite convincing as a hopeless white trash girl from Missouri. 
It was completely original in the way it presented the creative process that led up to Peter Pan. At least, I feel that way. I came away inspired from the film. It depicted what imagination can and can not do in your life, and how truly boring things can be without it. Especially as we age, this is a wonderful thing to think about. Ever find yourself thinking strictly practical thoughts? I definitely do, and what fun is that really?
Every year the academy screws things up with the Oscars. There's always something that I don't agree with. Remember when Titanic beat Good Will Hunting for Best Picture, and also took nearly every other award? That's just wrong. I mean, Titanic was a great, epic film. I liked it. In fact, I saw it twice in the theater. The second time was with my mom. I know I lack testosterone at times. What can you do? Anyway, Good Will was much better that year. I'm not compromising on this and I am still pissed off about it.
