NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now, everyone knows that this Hollywood remake trend sucks tremendously, with the possible exception of Ocean's Eleven. I didn't mind much when it was stupid crap like King Kong. However, this is just going too fucking far. Pardon my French, but this is my movie and it's perfect in it's current incarnation. It holds up quite well. There is absolutely zero need for a remake and zero chance that this could do anything but drive me completely insane. I don't know where the petition I sign or militia group I join to keep this from happening is. If you're organizing either though and you are reading this, you can count on me. Big time.

I just can't believe this. I'm now pissed at Will Smith to an incredible extent. Your big Willie style sucks pal. I'm emailing Jada right now to try to talk her into a divorce. Jackie flippin' Chan as Mr. Miyagi? For real? I mean, is there a worse choice? Pat Morita is rolling over in his Las Vegas grave repeatedly as I type this. You couldn't have waited at least five years after his death to cast a walking caricature in his signature role? That's how you play Mr. Miyagi? Like a chump? I'm ill. Someone please tell me this was all a joke. Someone please tell me that Ralph Macchio is somewhere right now working on his drum technique, burying his beef with the original Cobra Kai's, and training with a now changed Sensei Kreese to stop these Hollywood numbskull's and protect the sanctity of The Karate Kid film series. That stupid Hilary Swank movie was enough pain.